I have three awesome kids. I genuinely love being a Dad. But, if I was to be honest, I have missed out on a few things. Kick-starting my career as a young professional, working several jobs to pay the rent, creating my own businesses, building those businesses… It takes its toll. However, all that is about to change.
When I started the beginning of 2010 I set myself a goal. I sat down and I made a big, long list of things I would need to do to achieve that goal. As I get closer and closer to accomplishing my mission of becoming a Virtual CEO (more on that journey coming up soon!), I am starting to make a different type of list. Today I thought I would share some of the things on that list.
I have written and even shot videos on the reasons as to Why I Want to be a Virtual CEO. So, I wont bother you with them again. However, the main two reasons behind this goal of mine was to a) spend more time with my family and b) get to spread my entrepreneurial wings and work on more projects.
My eldest Son, Chris Jr (affectionately known as ‘CJ’) is now 15 years old and my daughter, Chloe, who is 12 (going on 21!), both live in the UK with their Mum. There is a big gap between my daughter, and my youngest soon, Charlie, who is 2 years old. A lot has happened in my life in the last ten years. I’m in a completely different place – as a father, a husband and as a businessman.
You Want Success – Work for it!
Ultimately in life you can achieve as much, or as little, as you want. I’m a big believer in working hard. Sometimes that means you have to sacrifice certain things. In my case it was time with my children.
A failed first marriage, constant travel and a whole bunch of other headaches didn’t help that situation. However, over the last 5-6 years I have started to rebuild all that. Slowly, but surely, I’ve spent more time with my eldest two in the last 5 years than I have in the last 10 years, easy… I got married again, myself and my wife, Ercille, decided to have Charlie; we started our business, and have worked damn hard to get it to where it is today.
Plus a lot more…
Being Open
You might ask, after all these months of blogging, why I am opening up like this now. Well, its because I can taste that freedom. The freedom to be able to spend another hour playing and reading stories with my youngest Son, or shooting an extra few hoops with my eldest one. Or, walking around the mall being dragged into one girlie store after another, aimlessly, having fun with my daughter! 
I can taste the freedom of being able to work from home for the majority of the week, popping into the office for just two, 3-hour meetings a week (that’s the initial plan, anyway), being able to grow and nurture relationships with existing clients, as well as to create more awesome business collaborations with additional clients and joint venture partners.
The entrepreneurial ‘itch’ of being able to devote more time to growing my core business overall, plus develop more business ideas and to creating more job opportunities for smart young Filipino professionals in the process, is just awesome!
I can feel all of this, and a whole lot more.
And… My New List
As I mentioned, at the top of this post, I am now starting to create a new type of list – actually, its two-fold. The first part is business related, which I’ll save for a future post (or the bits I can publish, anyway – I know for a FACT a lot of my ‘competitors’ read this blog – hi guys!).
The second part is the family related bit, and so far, it goes a little like this:
- Spend between 2-4 weeks of quality time, living and working in San Francisco, USA, with my entire family around me.
- Spend between 2-4 weeks of quality time, living and working in London, England, with my entire family around me.
- Spend between 2-4 weeks of quality time, living and working somewhere in Europe, with my entire family around me – anyone got any ideas (specific towns / cities – must have good internet connections), stick them below in the comment section. If I pick the place you suggest, I will send you a postcard when I am there!
- Put decent sized lump-sum payments into funds for all three of my children, which are already up and running.
- Vow to get super fit and healthy again – I’ve let myself ‘go’ a little in this area, although my diet is probably better than it ever has been before in my life – seriously.
- Travel to Bali for a 2-week full-blown vacation (okay, the iPad might come with me!) with my beautiful wife – gotta keep that spark alive, right!?!
The Awesome Shangri-la - Cebu, Philippines
This is basically what I have put together this past weekend, after spending an awesome 2-nights at the Shangri-la Resort and Spa here in Cebu, with my wife and Charlie. Whilst there, I was also lucky enough to meet face-to-face for the first time with VBL Community member Mike Stankavich – was a pleasure meeting you and your lovely family, Mike.
As you can see, I am looking at balancing the business part with the family stuff. This is, after all, the Virtual Business Lifestyle, we’re talking about.
But, the big thing is this… You don’t have to switch off completely from family life to achieve business success. I get that now. I’ve struggled with that fact before, for a long, long time – but, I don’t have to anymore.
Being a Virtual CEO is going to allow me more time with my kids, more time with my wife and ultimately more memories. And that, my VBL friends, is what life should be all about – creating memories that last forever.
Full Disclosure
I cried writing this post.
See you on Wednesday, where I have an awesome interview with ‘The Anywhere Office’ founder, Phil Montero on how to work in the cloud, set-up your virtual business and a whole lot more juicier stuff!
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I never thought that my Boss could be emotional sometimes. I thought he’s just all work and work and work everyday!
Hahaha.
Hey, c’mon, Jobs – real men can cry, too…!!!
Especially when it has to do with your children. You’re not a REAL, real man, otherwise.
Hey Boss,
I want some of that vacation time too!
It’s been a pleasure working with you thus far. I’m looking forward to helping a tired, old, emotional man achieving his goal of becoming a bonafide through-n-through Virtual CEO.
Ben
Hey Chris,
Thanks for opening up a sharing this with us, you are a brave man Mr. Ducker and you definitely have my respect. I’m trying to work hard on my IM projects and come to realization that it is hard work, really hard work!
While am I no were close to you in my endeavors as yet; I have a very faint taste of freedom right now,as you put; I’m going to work my ass off to get to it.
Really, REALLY, Cool Post Chris! Looking forward to what’s in store.
Hi Jason
I hear you on the IM side of things. I have plans for a few ventures next year, too – and I already know they are gonna be hard work!
Just stick with it, and it will all start to come together. Remember – The way to BE nothing, is to DO nothing.
Thanks for the comment, and positive words, they’re much appreciated.
C
Hey Chris!
Thanks for being so open and sharing that! I can’t wait to watch you achieve all of your goals.
You’re a great inspiration and example of how to create a successful virtual business empire!
Best of luck,
Jordan Godbey
Hi Jordan
Thanks for dropping by and commenting for the first time (I believe), bud – means a lot to me.
All the best to you and yours, too.
Cheers,
Chris
Indeed it is sir! (wow great job knowing your audience haha) We chatted once or twice by twitter/fb
Indeed we have – youre right.
Thanks again – hope to see more of you here at the VBL Community in the coming months…!
Cheers,
Chris
I find it weird when people put family life in the either-or category. While I understand that you need to make sacrifices, shoving them aside while you work can result to really crappy consequences. You might be successful and get their respect and admiration, but ultimately lose their love and affection. Sad.
I must say that I admire you more as a businessman after this post. I don’t think I could look up to someone who only thought about the business side of things, and didn’t have a vision beyond the money.
Best of luck to you and the fam!
Hi Kris
Thanks for commenting. Appreciate it.
And thanks for the candidness, too. That’s what this is all about. Being true to ourselves and what we truly want in our lives. Your words couldnt be more spot-on.
Hope all is good in recent’married’life for you!
Best,
Chris
Wow, Chris, you cried writing that and I almost cried reading it…
I can totally relate to everything you are saying, I was fortunate enough to already have my home based business before having children, and I remember giving birth to my first child at home, and the next day dealing with my clients with my little 10.5 lb bundle of joy sitting next to me.
The next one had to be born in the hospital (the country we were in had a law about home births) but 4 hours later I checked myself and went back to home and work!
The feeling of not having to worry about ‘maternity leave’ or having to ask my boss if I can go pick my kids up from the ‘babysitter’ was a huge weight off my mind – there was no way I would have liked spending 3 months at home with my baby then flitting back to work not seeing them all day.
The virtual business lifestyle maybe difficult at times, but to me at the end of the day, it’s just like having another baby, I am now mother to my son, my daughter and my business!
Hi Michelle
Ahh… Thanks, my dear.
Awesome little story of your own you have there. And I love the fact that the true entrepreneur inside of you comes out with the ‘I am now a mother to…’ comment. Great way to close up a great piece of feedback. Fabulous addition to the post itself.
Thanks for dropping by, as always.
Cheers,
Chris
Hi Chris
Nothing wrong with openign up and sharing. If nothing else it helps explain and paint a picture of why your chaning your work priorities.
I too have sacrificed family life (2 marriaes down) in order to build businesses. Not that tehre were no many many treats and holidays
I too am forming a plan to spend spcific amounts of time in places with people for 2011.
The best of luck and good wishes.
Steve Wyman
Hey Steve
Thanks for the feedback, mate.
Excellent news that you have your own plans for 2011. Please feel free to share, if the medium is right here.
Really appreciate your comment.
Chris
Sometimes it’s important to say the things we all know to be true (but don’t act that way). What’s the point otherwise if you don’t know who your kids are.
My vote for Europe is renting a Tuscan villa.
Hi Chris
Man, Tuscany is an awesome idea – I’m sure that the wife wouldn’t be upset with that choice, either!
Much appreciate your comment. All true words.
Thanks again for stopping by.
Chris
Cracking post Chris.
Welling up just reading it. Not just because of your situation but because it’s very much like mine is at the moment. In order to grow my coaching business and work on my products, I’ve had to sacrifice. Those sacrifices have very sadly been the time I spend with my wife and two beautiful daughters.
I make sure I spend sometime with them but it’s not nearly as much as I could and working a full time whilst trying to create all this stuff doesn’t help.
Ultimately I know that it’ll make my family’s life better, and I know lots of people here will disagree I’m sure. If you want to be successful in anything you do you have to learn which balls to juggle and how to juggle them. That might sounds cold and heartless but it’s true.
I know ulimately I’ll alienate friends and family members chasing this dream but I make sure I’m taking my wife and kids with me on the ride.
Hi Ben
Ah, another male cry-baby – awesome stuff!
Its tough, mate. Fatherhood is certainly not easy. Even after having three kids, I still struggle with it from time to time – I would be flat-out lying if I said I didnt. But, whats nice is that it does, genuinely, get easier, and you learn with every step of the journey.
Keep pursuing the goals and dreams you have, my man. I know that your family will be right there with you. I just know it.
All the best,
Chris
It’s so crucial to have goals. But very few people feature their family as a very integral part of those goals. That’s what I liked about this. You want your family to be part of those goals.
I like the idea of working 4 weeks in and around different places in the world. Now that’s something to strive for.
Hi Robert
Thanks for dropping by, and for the great comments.
Appreciate you taking the time to contribute.
Stay tuned, lots planned!
Regards,
Chris
Well done Chris! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with you!
It’s been a tough journey for you, but you’ve taken it step by step and now ready to reap the rewards and spend time with your family.
Building a business is a tough. It’s much harder than a ‘real job’ because you never switch off.
It’s so important to have the support of your family around you or it’s just not worth while.
i’m looking forward to hearing more of your stories and seeing these travel pics!
Hey Matthew
Yep – the light (not the bright white one, I hope!) is getting closer…!!
Switching off has ALWAYS been a problem for me. But, I’ve found that as I get older it is starting to get easier. This new set-up that I will hope full achieve will make that a LOT easier, thats for sure. Luckily for me, I am HIGHLY productive working from home – some people struggle. But, I have never had an issue with it.
Thanks for the comment, as always.
Chris
Chris, we very much enjoyed meeting you, Erz, and Charlie this weekend. And yes, the Shangri-la isn’t a half bad place to spend the weekend
Next time I’ll see if I can get the full weekend too.
I’ve also been thinking about goals, family, and balance a lot lately. Our conversation this weekend helped me realize I have been way over committing myself. It isn’t working for me and it isn’t working for my family. It’s time to remember the A in SMART – achievable.
I like that you’re focusing on setting discrete time blocks rather than letting work spread across your entire day and week. I find that creativity and motivation really suffer when I’m “working” all the time. Much of that time I end up half working, bouncing out to email, twitter, etc and not really accomplishing anything anyway. It’s a lot easier to stay focused when you have a hard commitment to get through everything in three hours. And then when you are with your family you can be fully present. Keeping one eye on the Blackberry doesn’t count.
One more thing was nagging at me as I wrote my comment and I just remembered what it was. I recently read a great article by way of Marissa Bracke’s website.
Bronnie Ware worked in palliative care for many years, caring for patients who’d returned home to die. She distilled her experience into the five most common regrets she heard her patients mention. Check out http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html. Three of her five most common regrets directly match up with this article.
I’m sure I’ll have my regrets when I pass, but I’m going to work damn hard to be sure I have as few as possible.
Very nice link, Mike. I see what you mean – coincidences noted!
I hear you – keep rockin’.
The pleasure was all ours, Mike.
The pool floating, beer supping time was all good fun. Glad you took away some additional ideas and clarity, too. You have a beautiful family, and your girls are just adorable…!
Blackberries – who needs ‘em. I threw mine in a pool and then blended the thing… Perhaps I should post that video soon!!!!!?
Thanks for dropping by, as always, man.
Chris
Hi Chris,
Awesome blog! I’m happy to hear from a businessman’s perspective that you are doing all this hard work for your family.
I’ve been reading your blogs and been absorbing every tad bits of information you have about call centers, virtual CEO and other good things related to your type of business.
As you can see I’m planning on moving back permanently to PI someday, and when I do that I would also like to set up a call center or a virtual business similar to what you are doing now. There are three reasons for that, the first is to provide a comfortable living for my family, second is to be able to assist fellow Filipinos by being able to provide jobs or careers and lastly the ability to assist the needy by being able to give more to charity.
One thing I learned from reading entrepreneurial books and online information is to find great mentor’s who are willing to guide and provide you that information. I feel that you are that mentor, but no I’m not asking or obligating you to be my mentor because you are already doing that by way of sharing your blogs which for me is more than enough and I thank you for that.
The idea of having to work less days of the week and few hours of the day is really interesting. I’m looking forward to hearing more about your system.
Oh, Happy Thanksgiving by the way to you and your family its Monday here in California getting close to turkey night.
Rudy
Hi Rudy
Thanks, buddy. Nice to see another Pinoy brother on the blog – quite a few now. Awesome stuff.
I hear your sentiments loud and clear. And thank you, sincerely, for your comments in regards to the mentor thing. Its not something I go out to do, but its nice to be recognized as one, from time to time. I appreciate it – and your support for the blog, too.
Good luck on your own journey back ‘home’. Keep us all up-to-date with it, okay!
All the best,
Chris
Chris, that’s what it’s all about man – spending time with your loved ones.
We can work to the bone on our businesses day and night but the things that make us the happiest are often the ones that we often forget – the ones closest to us.
Take away everything and I bet that you could agree that what matters most is family and friends – as you’ve put it.
You could be poor as can be but when you can spend time with people you love; that’s what makes life go by fulfilled.
Never forget this moment Chris; the tipping point. The point where it’s all falling into place.
Hey Murlu
Thanks for the comments, buddy – glad you ‘get it’, too.
The Tipping Point. Holy cow, believe it or not, I hadnt actually thought of it like that (believed it happened a while back for me), but, I believe youre right… Malcolm Gladwell would be proud, I hope.
Chris
Very cool post Chris, makes me look forward to 2011 on your blog.
Thanks, man. Means a lot…
Lots planned, actually. With the Virtual CEO side of things hopefully in place by then (still working VERY hard to dot the i’s and cross the t’s, I will be looking at building the blog a little more, re-branding slightly and putting some monetization plans in place for it, too.
Look forward to having you along for the ride, too!!!
C
Great post Chris! Learning and discussion how to make the exec career work virtually is why I created the Association of Top Virtual Executive Leaders, and your snapshots into your life and now the prime motivations why are something I am beginning to follow. I will keep following.
Awesome. Thanks, Karl.
Much appreciated, and I look forward to hearing from you more in the future.
Have a great Thanksgiving!
Chris
Chris,
Awesome post, thanks so much for sharing your insight. I am just barely scratching the surface of virtual business/lifestyle design and I’m pretty clueless at this point but blogs like yours and Corbett Barr’s are so inspiring. I know that whatever I do it will involve my first passion, photography (I’d love you to check out my website and offer any feedback) and probably writing & editing as well. I plan on becoming a regular reader of your blog as I figure this whole thing out!
Hi Andy
Thanks for the comment and welcome to the blog…
A pleasure to have you on board as part of the VBL Community. I’ll check your blog out for sure.
In the meantime, you like writing and you like photography. Why not pick a niche within that scope, say photographing children, or wildlife, for example, and think about writing an eBook to get started.
They are quick and easy to put together and can sometimes become highly profitable…!
Good luck, buddy, and I look forward to seeing you around a little more.
Best,
Chris
Chris,
In reference to which cities you should visit:
1. Prague is a gorgeous city and very high tech. Some of the major landmarks are almost identical to what you find in Paris except Prague is 1/2 the price! Internet connectivity is everywhere.
2. Rio De Janeiro [OK, so it's not in Europe] is another must-see city as well. Connectivity is a little less common than Prague but the city’s beauty makes up for it.
Best,
- Alex -
Hi Alex
Thanks for the feedback, buddy.
Prague is awesome, youre right – thats certainly gonna be on the list!!! Paris – nope. Too expensive…!
Appreciate the comment, my man, and thanks for dropping by!
Chris